You are too complex to understand yourself.
You are not an atheist in your actions.
You often fail to recognize your own blindness.
He that hath ears to hear, let him hear.
How do you find out what you actually believe, rather than what you think you believe?
Having eyes, see ye not?
Watch how you act.
You have nothing to boast about, and salvation is not wrought in deeds but by faith in the death, burial, and bodily resurrection of Jesus Christ. This is the only means, he is the only mediator who can wash away your sins and restore your relationship with Abba.
For by grace are ye saved through faith;
and that not of yourselves:
it is the gift of God:
Not of works,
lest any man
“The difference between an admirer and a follower still remains, no matter where you are. The admirer never makes any true sacrifices. He always plays it safe. Though in words, phrases, songs, he is inexhaustible about how highly he prizes Christ, he renounces nothing, gives up nothing, will not reconstruct his life, will not be what he admires, and will not let his life express what it is he supposedly admires.” (
Begin a living relationship with Christ.
Live in truth and with childlike passion.
Remain decisive in the face of struggle, even the struggle of faith.
Christianity is a life that is fully constituted and lived.
“The matter is quite simple. The bible is very easy to understand. But we Christians are a bunch of scheming swindlers. We pretend to be unable to understand it because we know very well that the minute we understand, we are obliged to act accordingly. Take any words in the New Testament and forget everything except pledging yourself to act accordingly. My God, you will say, if I do that my whole life will be ruined. How would I ever get on in the world? Herein lies the real place of Christian scholarship. Christian scholarship is the Church’s prodigious invention to defend itself against the Bible, to ensure that we can continue to be good Christians without the Bible coming too close. Oh, priceless scholarship, what would we do without you? Dreadful it is to fall into the hands of the living God. Yes it is even dreadful to be alone with the New Testament.” (Søren Kierkegaard, Provocations: Spiritual Writings of Kierkegaard)